It’s a sunny Thursday morning here in Maryland, and I’ve been awake since around 5:00am-ish…don’t you love the way that we’ve begun to add syllables to everything…this is how languages evolve….it’s ok. We’ll have a million cases to add to our words in 500 more years. Anyway, I was up so early due to the sheer excitement about crawling out of the hole.
Natasha, what hole are you referring to exactly? The life hole that I started digging a long time ago. If I were an animal, it might just be a prairie dog. They furrow down into the ground away from the elements and the construct is very intricate. Serving as a place of protection and shelter, it keeps the coyotes away. My life resembles that of a prairie dog’s lair or whatever you call the place that they live. I’m almost positive it’s not a lair, but I want to call it that to make them seem stronger than they are.
You see, I’ve made a lot of decisions that haven’t been in my best interest, but to be honest, I thought they were. You know how we young folk just pummel ahead and don’t look up, usually until it’s too late. Then all of a sudden we’re in crisis. I think that it happens to the best of us. A lot of my peers are in the middle of their lives being flipped up side down…divorce, illness, relocation, job reassignment, etc. Our worlds are being rocked, because we’ve come this far and things haven’t quite worked out the way that we thought they would. You know what I mean…happily ever after.
Maybe we’re the first generation that had promises shoveled down our throats by the onslaught of media that tempted us, tantalized us, terrified us and trivialized our lives. They sold us a false bill of goods.
Well I’ve got good news, I’m crawling out. Yesterday, I went to settlement and “my” house is no longer mine. The new owner said she felt like she was getting married. I said that I felt like I was getting a divorce. Goodbye and good riddance. I bought that house with good intention…investment, entertainment, yada yada yada. Eventually, I figured out that the house bought me. I was its slave…clean me, dig out my gutters, mow the grass, keep the lights on, where’s the water, spray smell goods and fill me with delight….SHUTUP ALREADY! Who knew?! You see at the time, I didn’t. I just didn’t know. Wisdom comes with age…>smirk<
My next moves aren’t calculated yet, but they will be. For the first time in my life, I am able to breathe and figure out a game plan. Most of my decisions have been in the midst of war…my own. They were always battle plans to keep the enemy away, protective and defensive. It made sense at the time after years of hurt, but they don’t make sense anymore, ’cause I’m not being hurt. That’s why I was up so early…to rethink….to begin again.
- I want to live in a way, that allows me to smell the grass…not just when I mow it.
- I want to cook for friends and have them sing and laugh all night.
- I want to know my neighbors and sit on porches and have long life-giving conversations.
- I want to taste my food, when I eat it.
- I want to pay attention to the lyrics, when I sing.
- I want to write more songs, poems and a book or two or three.
yep and English is one of the hardest languages out there already…but your use of it in calling us to make the right kinds of mid-course adjustments is brilliant! And kind! And wise! And down to earth! And faith giving.
Thank you Brian! I'm so encouraged!