Last week I ventured off to my mother’s time share. It’s about 45 minutes away, but we all know that 45 minutes can feel like you’re on another planet and for a little bit this did. Not because it looked so different, but because I turned off the phone and settled into the Fox River Resort. By the looks of it, it’s an older resort and I wouldn’t necessarily give it 4 stars…not even two, but it served it’s purpose as a mini-respite for me for a day and half so that I could get my act together.
I snuck away because I needed to rethink my vision for Ukraine and I needed to pull together a regimented schedule of sorts and I needed to lay out my itinerary for the next 8 weeks.
Two weeks ago, I was in Orlando and I had the privilege of meeting several pastors, pastors’ wives, ministers and missionaries and there are a few meetings that I had in particular that were pivotal and catalyzing. The first meeting touched on vision, my vision for Ukraine. Before the meeting my vision was to go to Ukraine, disciple some up and coming leaders, encourage them to connect to and minister within their communities through Christ about obviously debilitating societal ideology that continues to hinder their spiritual mobility as a nation, for example the over dependence upon state-run orphanages, drug-abuse, corruption, etc. By the time I got up from the table, that statement didn’t quite have the ring to it, that it had had prior to this meeting. I was challenged very deeply to reassess and delve a little deeper into what this decision to go to Ukraine means to me and essentially to the world. 
What’s the national impact, the regional impact, the global impact? What do you see in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? What do you see? What’s the concrete evidence? Who will be affected?
In another meeting later on that afternoon, I was challenged even more to share vision, my vision. I haven’t been sharing vision. I’ve been sharing the need and tiny details that paint a picture, be it grim or hopeful, but I haven’t been sharing vision. I realize why it’s important and why visionaries are so intriguing. It’s because vision is full-blown faith. It’s got swag with it. It’s birthed in the confidence that we should have in the King. Now, I have confidence in the King, but I also have a lot invested in my own interests and this is where a decision needs to be made. (I’ll address this a paragraph or two down.)
I think that I’ve always been a visionary , but in my own mind. One of my strengths is ideation. I can rattle off ideas in my sleep about anything and everything, but that’s for my own entertainment and not the for the entertainment of others. For me casting vision is difficult, because it requires me to be sure and honestly, I’m not sure about anything. It’s some sort of game I play to get out of the responsibility of life. I don’t like the box that being sure requires me to live in, but the next question is, “is being sure living in the box or outside of it?” (This is another issue to be dealt with another day.)
Anyway, I say all that to say, I was challenged to sharpen that vision and to hone in on the big picture and honestly it’s been a struggle.
The struggle is more so in that I have had to stretch my faith in order to conceive the vision. Vision goes beyond stats and demographics and the obvious, but it requires one to use their sanctified imagination coupled with possibility and the extraordinary hand of God wrapped around it to see what’s possible for the future and in this case the future of the gospel.
My approach so far has been that of lowly missionary, as I at times struggle to make sense of my journey. I want to dream big and imagine the possibilities, but that requires me to abandon everything I know and believe about how my life should be. To live is Christ and to die is gain. Really this life in Christ is about death isn’t it? It’s about the cross and the sacrifice and I think of Romans 12:1 where it says, I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God to present yourselves as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Living sacrificially is a life that requires us to die by faith…again and again.
So as my vision expands, I die more. As I research the need for the gospel in Eastern Europe and I envision God’s hand using and impacting young adults in Christ, I swell with tears for so many reasons…a few listed: 1. I’ve been chosen to witness God’s merciful hand slathered with lovingkindness. 2. There’s been an open invitation for me to go and impact the world with the gospel. 3. I’m afraid of the unknown. 4. I’m joyful because of the cross and the King.
It’s all a bit overwhelming, but it’s possible. It’s possible to connect yourself to the vision of the King. You know, that vision about the gospel being preached to every nation and every tribe and every tongue. It’s a huge vision and we wee beings mesh ourselves with it and the tiny details.
Before those conversations, I never fully allowed myself to imagine the possibilities nor the impact that missions for me in Ukraine might have globally, after all I’m just a lowly missionary chick from the rural burbs, but I now realize that there’s strength in vision because it helps people unite around a cause. I need more than my faith to get this thing rolling. It’s a collective effort that requires faith and action on behalf of many.
I’m encouraged by this challenge. I’m scared, but I’m encouraged.
What’s your vision? What are you afraid to envision?
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